“What you need to know is this: Before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which most people give up. It’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon’
“Every search begins with beginners luck. And every search ends with the victor’s being severely tested.”
“The boy remembered an old proverb from his country. It said that the darkest hour of the night came just before the dawn.”
– The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
As promised, I’m documenting a major life milestone of mine with this post. But first, a little back story.
When I started this blog, I wasn’t really sure what direction I was taking with it. I just knew I needed to get some things out, to see if anyone felt the same way I did. I was having a really tough time documenting my thoughts , but I knew that writing was a good way to look at the progress I’d made and my shifting views about the world. Just like you can find inspiration in a before and after fitness photo, I knew this could help me along in life. I tried two or three different notebooks – thinking each one with a different style or size would motivate me more. I even tried grid diary app, which was cool, but I didn’t end up keeping up with that either. I thought maybe with some mission or some sense of obligation I would keep at it with a blog. I’m proud to say I’ve kept up with it for five months now. Here’s a link to my very first post if you’re curious later. It was the beginning of some big shifts for me……
That brings me here today – writing this post. I’ve quit my full-time job working 8:30-5:30 as a Tech Support Manager to work part-time so that I can find balance and pursue yoga. I want to practice more yoga, study the yogi lifestyle, and teach as often as I am able to. The positive changes that I’ve seen in my life and my way of thinking about my place in the world feel good, and I want to share them with others. I feel it’s my purpose in life to share light with others. The happiest and most fulfilling moments that I can recall in my life, are those when I am giving support and uplifting others who then feel better for it OR working deeply in my art. Singing as teenager in church up on stage making the people happy, training those who needed help in all of the jobs that I’ve ever had, making gifts and art for others. Giving love to those who need it and bringing beauty into my surroundings.
My life is too short, and I’ve spent a lot of time putting my energy toward things that didn’t make me happy or fulfilled. What is the real cost of living this way? If I help someone find yoga, who might benefit from it – maybe I can help be a part of their journey to find the tools to heal their own heart, loosen their stress, release tension and pain in their body, breath better, and live a more balanced and calm existence.
Maybe I can watch them find space where before there was clutter. Maybe I can encourage them on a bad day, or help lift them up.
I don’t know that I’m capable of doing that in a 8:30-5:30 setting, or at least not where I was. I came home most days drained and exhausted. I just… wasn’t happy. It didn’t feel good. If there are any lessons you take with you off the mat – Know that if something doesn’t feel good it’s okay to make adjustments. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Now, I’m not saying quit your job tomorrow.. I’m saying, allow yourself to explore opportunities to make a shift. I’m hoping with this change, I’ll be able to shine more often. I want to build peaceful relationships with those around me and become more at balance with the Soul of the World. I don’t want to fight against my inner nature just to confine myself to expectations of the American Work Culture focused only on financial growth. I will make enough to live, save, and be strategic – and I will pursue being a yogi the rest of the time.
If I need to, I’m sure I can go back. The money hungry are still out there, and I’m sure they will want to eat up my time and abilities if this part of my journey was not meant to last forever.
But that’s the beauty of life, isn’t it? It’s all about the journey, not the destination.